Week 5, Day 4

Holy moly — last night was a NO SLEEP night. That’s getting old.

But yesterday was a day — McGee died. McGee has been the best kind of dog, a kind of stop-gap in my family’s world. When my grandparents died 4 1/2 years ago, the dog survived and my parents became McGee’s new Mom & Dad. By proxy, he was my cousin/brother. Admittedly, I felt a little bit Mormon. But, it was on McGee’s back that our sorrow and loss rode for the last 4 1/2 years. I feel, a little bit, like maybe he waited until he knew we had something else (a baby!) in our lives before he let himself succumb to whatever was taking over his body.

But, in the last two months, McGee just wasn’t himself. He lost five pounds — 25% of his weight — in two weeks. He couldn’t control his bladder. The vet said it was diabetes and there was organ damage. My Mom and Dad were with him when they said good-bye. I said good-bye in the morning at my parents’ house. I was sad all day. I’m still sad. McGee was quite seriously someone I looked forward to seeing — and he to me. I called him “Bubby”, my pet name for him. I’m so sad that he’s gone.

I’ll admit that I was more glad than ever that there is this little life growing inside of me. Not that it can be equated to the dog, at all, but it’s the continuity of life that brings me peace. It has always made me sad that my Grandpa Jerry, Grandma Judy, Grandpa Carpenter, Grandpa Carrell, won’t meet my children. And now, no pictures of cute McGee with the cute baby. But, it means that life continues (thankfully) and that there are great things to look forward to. Also, this means my Mom gets  a break from taking care of the dog before she goes on Grandma-babysitting duty 😉

So, back to being pregnant. Last night, it was like period cramps. But, can’t take Pamprin, so had to just battle through it. It’s been a looooonnnngg time since I had cramps that I couldn’t take anything for. So, I got in the shower at 2:30 a.m. (this after researching and googling ‘cramps, six weeks, pregnant’ for about an hour). What else is a girl to do? It helped and by 4 a.m., I was finally asleep. However, that was short-lived. I was up by 7:30 a.m. ready to go and get my homework done by Noon MST. Ran to VG’s, got donuts and coffee and milk and oj for ‘breakfast-in-bed’ for Jon. Man is he lucky.

Anyway, began researching some strollers last night. What a big decision that is. It can be a purchase of $200 or $500, plus all the attachments. You can read great reviews on them all — and opposite opinions on them all. The only friend I have who has a semblance of what is good/bad is Jay and she’s in Florida (not the same needs as someone in the snow all the time). So, right now the frontrunners are Phil and Ted’s Explorer and the BOB Revolution. I like the idea that it can work as a jogger/walker, can navigate smaller spaces and, the Phil and Ted’s can be adapted for both an infant car seat and as a dual stroller. I feel like, though the initial price tag may be steep, it will be a good long term investment. However, if I’m dissatisfied with the stroller, it will have just been a huge waste of money. What a big decision.

I also started looking at cribs. Another overwhelming experience. I’m pretty committed to a 4-in-1 crib that can go from a crib to toddler bed to a double bed. BUT — what color? What style? Do I even bother purchasing the whole kit and kaboodle (dresser, etc.) or just wing it? See — lots of questions.

Oh, and gliders. The ones that don’t look like your typical Babies-R-Us purchase, that look like a piece of furniture that is intentionally in your home, but not for babies specifically, are pretty pricey. I haven’t done justice to shopping those out.

My goal: to have all of the stuff I’m putting on a list-of-things-I-need/want chosen (boy-specific and girl-specific) so that in 14 more weeks, when we know what it is, we can be raring and ready to go on making choices and getting stocked up. Actually, that 14 week mark will be the same time I’m finishing my MBA! Woohoo!!!

Ok – enough rambling for this a.m. I’m feeling better now that I’m upright. Hopefully, sleep comes my way tonight!

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