I Think I See the End In Sight…

…of my belly button, that is.

Getting out of the shower this evening and drying off, applying lotion and I saw it. The bottom of my belly button. I haven’t seen that in, well, ever. And tonight, I saw it.

Weird.

Totally weird.

 

Also, note the photo of tortellini. I am NOT showing you a photo of my belly button tonight, so you get the next best thing…belly button-shaped pasta.

 

We are 3 1/2 ish days from the baby shower, the one my aunts are hosting here at my house. My Mom and I have cleaned the house. I’ve spent some quality time with a mop and broom, dust rag, etc., and even ruined a pair of yoga pants with Tilex with Bleach (that was this morning).

I also spent this morning at the Leadership Academy hosted in Clio by the Rotary Club and the Healthy Community initiative. Very, very cool. Felt so – well – involved after going. I knew several people who were there and it gave me a good feeling to be one of the crowd who is leading the community. I really think that it’s a great networking opportunity, if nothing else, and I think the biggest kicker is going to be in implementing some of the ideas or following through on those that come out of this discussion group stuff.

The meeting was actually a Rotary Club meeting, but it was that I’d forgotten how those meetings begin.

Sing “My Country ‘Tis of Thee” which I remembered the words to (do people younger than me know the words to that song? I found myself wondering as I was singing it and proud that I COULD, in fact, remember the lyrics).

Then, the Pledge of Allegiance.

Man, I really do love the Pledge of Allegiance. As a liberal-minded, registered Democrat I understand the separation of church and state – I relish it in fact. However, I don’t understand the issue with the “under God” bit. I mean, I do understand it. But, hey, just don’t say it. I feel like you should just be proud of the country that you live in. Same breath, I sometimes feel like ‘what if (insert country from the Middle East that hates us here) families saw a clip of a room full of Americans reciting the Pledge’. Wouldn’t that make you fearful of THOSE country’s citizens, if you saw a clip of them all staring down their flag, hands over hearts, chanting what sounds like an incantation, and pledging under GOD that you will be allegiant to the flag and what it stands for. I don’t know – either way, I really like the Pledge and I think it’s a shame that students don’t do it anymore. But, it was one more reason I really enjoyed this morning.

I sat next to some great men who I think have great ideas and I was glad to be associated with in our group. We had a nice mix of people in our group and I’m really looking forward to what next week holds.

My whole goal in life has been to be involved in the (small) community in which I live, which now happens to be the town I grew up in. So, I’m excited to be involved and feel like the timing is right in my life to make this something that is important to me. We shall see. Priorities are set to change in t-minus five weeks. I could live to eat these words.

 

Anyway, I am LITERALLY (by the doctor’s date) five weeks, one day from D-Day. I am no more than six weeks away from being responsible for a small human on the outside of my body. Most of my list has been complete and I feel pretty/relatively okay with where life stands right now.

Work is the biggest question mark. How will my co-workers/boss/work people react as I no longer am able to travel (quickly becoming my reality — it hurts my whole body and takes DAYS to recover from car trips)? How does my work insurance work…another thing I thought while in the shower…I think I should take on the charge of getting maternity leave a non-taboo subject in the U.S. Or at least in our state. Or something. Somehow. I feel like there is so much pressure on breastfeeding — but we implore women back to work in less than 12 weeks. How did this happen? How did women in other countries command and demand the right to be off work with their child and somehow the U.S. got caught up and now, women get less than 12 weeks to spend with their infant before they must return to work (unless they are those fortunate few who get to stay home and raise their children). How will I prepare so that the person filling in for me while I’m out will not lose any of the traction/ground I’ve gained over the last two years? How will taking three months out of my career affect it…and how will I return to work, with this crazy travel demands of my job, and leave an infant behind. And not just any infant, MY infant. MY DAUGHTER. I don’t know. I don’t have the answers. But I am already feeling that the time is too short, that it will take longer than simply three months to get into a routine, to figure out how to sleep, how to eat, how to juggle it all and shower and put on makeup all at the same time.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not OVERWHELMED by these thoughts, but they cross my mind. If I choose to pursue a different career path after becoming a mother, how do I reconcile my career and being a mother? How do I do both effectively and feel at least moderately good about the career one and wholly good about the motherhood one? How do you go from having a career to not having one, to just having a job? How do women who have done it – the President of the company I work for, Maria Shriver (what is it with me and her?), Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama. How have they done it? Well, they’re rich and have had nannies. But, they weren’t always. Seriously, how did they manage moving up a career ladder and having a family…even having a relationship/marriage/house, not to mention adding a child into that mix.

I’m looking for those with tips and hints. Any books/reading/blogs/websites you can recommend, I think, after my word vomit here tonight, that I need it.

More soon.

L

 

 

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