Dear Elle: December 2012

Dear Girlie,

You’re 14 months old now. Isn’t that incredible? It is to me.

Every day is so new with you – you do new things, you become more YOU.

You are making a lot of different sounds – mainly just gibberish grunting, but there is almost always a point to what you are saying.

You now point at what you want and will take someone by the hand and lead them to what you want, then point at it.

The other day, you did this with your black sparkle shoes. You had worn them to Christmas with Santa at the club, and the following day, you brought me to them, sat down with your feet out, and it was evident you wanted them ON.

The reason you wanted them ON had more to do with the fact that your Uncle Trevor (once, a long, long time ago) was in tap class. And, Grandma and Grandpa still have his shiny black tap shoes (two times too big for your feet) but you LOVE to tap and you love the sound those tap shoes make on the ceramic tile. So, because you had a pair of shiny black shoes at your house, you wanted to tap. It was very clear you knew what you wanted as you stomped around ‘tapping’.

You are also more work – not going to lie. Your sleep remains inconsistent, though you’re going to bed easier and staying asleep better (for the most part). I fear that you will never NOT need a diaper at night as waking up NOT soaking wet hasn’t happened EVER. But, that’s a ways off. For now.

You still have just the six teeth that I can count and I keep feeling around for more, but none yet. They’re definitely getting bigger and coming in more, but nothing new since the six popped through at once.

We have had a few tries with Santa in the last few days — and you haven’t been an up-close fan. From far away, Santa doesn’t seem so bad. From up close, it’s a whole different story altogether. So far, no pictures of Elle with Santa. YET. We’re going to get one – I’m not really caring what you have to say about it!

We have lots of presents beginning to build up around our tree. It’s fun to see it happen, but I have to admit that Christmas shopping and preparing are so different this year. Last year at this time, I wasn’t working (because I’d just had you!) and I had time to decorate and time to do things that this year just are slipping away from me.

You are now in the “Young Toddler” room at school. It’s different teachers and different ‘stuff’ but you learn so much that I can’t imagine you NOT going there. Seriously, so much of what you have come to know I’m certain comes from being with those other kids your same age.

Girlie, this last week, there was a big thing that happened at some other kids’ school in Connecticut. Someday, you may be able to appreciate this, but it was like 9/11. It was something so awful that it made you freeze where you were in time and not be able to look at anything else.

At work the other day, another girl’s Mom was very mad that the news on the TV was showing the bad things that had happened. Very mad. And someday, when you’re old enough, you’ll understand this: Every once in awhile a bad person does a really, really bad thing to really, really good people. Sometimes it’s the words they say and what they want their words to mean; sometimes it’s the things they do and the results they want; and sometimes, it’s just bad. This week, a bad bad person did something to good little kids like you. There hasn’t been a night since when I haven’t thought about those little kids’ Mom’s.

I know that part of the reason I think about those kids’ Mom’s is because I’m your Mom now. It’s incredible, really, how big my love is for you. Sometimes, I feel like you made my heart grow bigger — not just to love you, but to love everyone we know (and even people we don’t know) just a little bit more than I thought I could.

I love you.



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