Breaking the Silence

I haven’t written in quite some time.

Since last year.

Since when these pictures were taken.

December2012Sledding-0108 December2012Sledding-0045 December2012Sledding-0084

It’s not that I mutinied and walked away from my blog. But it’s not like I didn’t. I found myself at this impasse — where over the holidays it felt like every time I went to tell a story about Elle or myself or our lives that whoever I was talking to already knew my story.

And I didn’t like it.

Not one bit.

And then, I got this weird stage fright/loss of voice/loss of direction crisis of confidence going. I don’t know that I’ve found my true and right blogging voice. I don’t know what I want to keep off-blog and what should go on-blog. (err…offline and online?).

I wanted to do a thing like this Aesthetic Voyage blog that a friend from my Alma College days writes, with a photo a day to capture my life.

That lasted seven days and I’m not giving you the link because it’s my anonymous blog in the universe and I kind of like it that way.

I wanted to be funny or candid or… like…well…most of the blogs I follow daily. Like this, and this and this and this and this.

And I wasn’t sure that I was.

So I just stopped.

And I’ve really enjoyed my approach to that for the last month.

But I started getting the itch this week, to write again.

So here I sit tonight, with a terrible mess in the kitchen, living room, bathroom and my office, not to mention the piles of laundry on the floor. Here I sit tonight, trying to finalize a wedding registry or four, trying to work on projects related to my post on the Board at the golf course and ignore the mess around me. Here I sit tonight with things to say, unsure of the voice with which I want to write.

But I know I want to write.

And then, evidence that the universe gives to you what it is that you need, this blog post from ScaryMommy came across my Facebook feed today.

So, because I don’t do baby books and am seemingly uncapable of finishing any particular photo book that I begin on shutterfly, this is what I have to give to my daughter.

I will write. I won’t worry about the voice, the purpose. I’ll just put my thoughts out into the world, keeping some tidbits for myself too.

So, welcome me back Interwebkinz.


One thought on “Breaking the Silence

  1. Sometimes I feel the same way – I often have to ask my friends, “did you read about … on my blog?” before I start up a story. But then, I don’t care really. My blog is for me, to record my memories of our life and I don’t really care what other people think. If they have to listen to my stories twice, than so be it.

    Also, I read the same post on Scary Mommy yesterday and actually saved it to my files. it summed up my feelings on blogging for Tory perfectly.

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