Dear Elle: You’re 18 Months Old!

Dear Elle,

You are a year and a half old.

Is that not the craziest thing?

I find myself absolutely cherishing the moments rocking you to sleep. There have been a few nights where I just love the weight of your chest against mine, your head under my chin. You still fit. And I just love the way it feels being your Mom in moments like those.

You love outside.

You talk.

A lot.

A lot.

And it’s so stinking cute.

You get PISSED OFF about things and I just don’t like that very much. Like today, you wanted to play in the bathroom and I said no and closed the door, so you proceeded to walk across the hall into my office and take a pile of papers sitting on the ledge and push them all off onto the floor.

Retribution. A characteristic you own.

You love songs where you get to use your hands. You walk around ‘singing’ the ABC’s but really it’s just the tune, no words. Sometimes you get “G” right.

You still LOVE bath time!

You still DISLIKE having things taken on/off over your head.

You have begun saying “MINE” about things, which your Dad and I then rip whatever it is out of your hands and say ‘no’.

I have to confess that I’ve stopped reading parenting blogs and books. I probably should, it might help with combating some of the “MINE” and retribution issues. But…you’re too easy and too good to feel like those things can’t be managed.

You still do not sleep through the night. Every once in awhile you will, and I feel so rested. But largely, you wake up at some point in the night and come to our bed.

I love the conversations that you and I are beginning to have. You have such an absolutely charming, lovely personality. You’re somehow a party girl and shy all at once, you’re good playing alone or with others. It’s so nice to see you grow up.

I still find myself wondering who you’ll be, how you’ll look.

Sometimes, I can’t believe that you’re so old already, growing up so quickly. And yet, I can look at you from time to time and still see those little, tiny, newborn faces you would make.

You are the puzzle and the joy of my life.

And you fill my whole body with love. And frustration. And guilt. But mainly, with love. I didn’t know I could be this full.



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