In my opinion, working all day is waaaay easier than playing my role as “Mom” all day long to Elle.
This occurs to me often, but tonight it really did while I was rocking Elle to bed, thinking about how today was so polar opposite to yesterday, how I loved hearing about her day, that it diversified my day because she and I did different things and I got to hear about all the fun things she did. As awful and guilt-creating as it may be to admit it out loud, I really like going to work away from my daughter for time during the day. I’m not saying I love working 9 hours and rushing to drop her off and pick her up from daycare. Not that at all. I wish I got to spend more time with her. But honestly, after spending a full weekend with her without a break, I’m ready for her to go to school and me to go work on Monday morning (some weeks, just for her to go to school and me to enjoy the house to myself…). And you know what, I’m kind of okay with admitting this. I’m confident enough (at least today – tonight…) that I can say it and not feel guilt.
My life at work is easier than negotiating and trading out M&M’s for pee in the potty.
My life at work is easier than battling a two year old to sit still long enough to change a diaper.
Budget negotiations and planning at work is far easier than convincing my toddler, when we “Feed the Pig” (piggy banks) at night and I try to show the differences between quarters, nickels, dimes and pennies (color, shape, size, etc.) that it is anything other than ‘monnny’. She’s right. It is money. It is also a quarter. No, monnny. Right, it’s a quarter but it’s also monnny. No, monnny. Yes, you’re right, it’s money.
At work, I sometimes get to be right. In toddler negotiations, I never am.
At work, while some of my day to day responsibilities are the same, in my work as a Mom, they’re ALWAYS the same (I’m exaggerating a little, of course). Fight to brush hair. Fight to brush teeth. Fight to change clothes. Debate breakfast. Debate dinner. Debate diaper changes. Debate M&M’s on trade for pee in the potty. Of course, there are the cuteness items thrown in which differ day to day, but the standby’s are there.
So if I had the choice, I don’t know that I would ever choose to stay home and raise my child/children exclusively all day. I don’t think I’d be good at it. I’m good at working for part of my day and I’m good at being a Mom part of my day. But I don’t think I’d be good at either one of them if I didn’t have the other.
And I’m oddly ok with that.