Epic Mom Fail

I get a kick (and take a weird pride) in the diversity of Elle’s closet. She’s a little girl, she’s well-supported (a nice way of saying spoiled) and she’s got lots and lots of clothes.

As you know, she also attends ‘school’ three days each week. I haven’t yet had to send her in a repeat outfit…which is sort of sick and wrong, but…lots of cute girl clothes out in the world, what can I say?!

Anyway, at school you take extra diapers, extra wipes, binkies and extra sets of clothes. Two to three sets of outfits for the I-just-shit-my-pants-at-school moment.

I try really hard to make sure that they are always well-stocked. As evidence, I’ll tell you about this morning… I dropped Elle off at school and I proactively ask the teacher, Miss Crystal, “Is Elle running low on diapers here?” and Miss Crystal says “Actually, I have a note that I was going to send home that we’re going to need more diapers soon.”

Ah ha! I’m on top of my game. I make a mental note (which got lost, for what it’s worth) to take a package of diapers with me when I pick Elle up. I’m ahead of the teacher’s note – I’m SO on my Mom game!

I sent Elle to school in a long-sleeve white t-shirt, blue polka dot “Daddy’s Sweetie” short sleeve onesie (featuring a cupcake) and pink pants (which actually doesn’t sound cute, but trust me).

I walk in to pick her up (without that package of diapers I was going to remember) and she’s in the bouncer (her favorite!). She is not, however, wearing the same outfit she was sent to school in.

And I realize, in horror, that I have not re-stocked the clothes options at school in, well, two months. Since Elle grew out of 0-3 and into 3-6 and is now on the verge of 6-12 month sizes.

Horror of horrors – my kid is wearing the only option that must have fit. Except I use the word ‘fit’ EXTREMELY loosely (or tightly, maybe?).

I took a picture to catalog this event.

Here’s Elle several months ago in the same outfit she came home from school in this afternoon:

Not the best angle, but you get that the general idea. Here’s what she looked like today in that SAME outfit, three months later…

You see how the pants have become shorts, the long sleeves have become short? Yes? Ok. Today we chalk up to Mom Fail. But at least I laughed at myself!!

The Headband-as-Belt Scenario

I had to catalog this moment, and fast.

Tonight, we were invited to my Grandma’s for a cocktail party (which has happened every Thursday night among their group of friends for as long as I can remember). So, Elle wore a pretty-pretty dress and Jon and I got dressed up a little bit, too.

Elle and her dress were the hit of the party (pics later) and then I had a meeting of a new group I’m a part of that I wanted to get to. I dropped Jon and Elle off at home and Jon was going to put Elle in jammies and I’d be back in an hour.

I got home and Jon was finishing up giving Elle a bottle downstairs…I changed through some loads of laundry, put some clothes away, changed into comfies of my own and by that time, Elle was through with her cat nap and ready to hang out with her Mumma (me).

Jon had her in a funnier-than-hell t-shirt that I got (the Daddy-proof onesie…the one we have is black with white writing). And then she was in a sleep sack-looking contraption in a light green that I knew was in the drawer but hadn’t ever put her in.

So, I decide to put her in something that looks warmer, because for some reason, Jon doesn’t have her arms in the light green thing. Turns out, the light green thing doesn’t have arms to it. Ok, weird. I opt for a Carter’s fleece sleep sack thing with sleeves (and a monkey princess on it).

Cute, warm, functional.

I go to take the light green Gold Bug swaddler off her…(here’s a picture of the thing for reference- right, now the no-arms thing makes more sense, doesn’t it?)…

So, I go to take the thing off her…and realize that her arms aren’t ‘in’ because there are no arm holes. So, I try to put the hood thing over her head. Waaaaaayyyy too big for her head and it’s practically over her face.

Ok, nice.

But the best is yet to come.

I go to un-swaddle this bizarre contraption and lo-and-behold, Jon has fashioned a belt out of a pink hairband around Elle’s waist to hold the GoldBug closed. Evidently he missed the velcro or, if he didn’t, decided it wasn’t going to stay put as-is.  I – quite literally – laughed out loud at the sight of it all.

The “Daddy-proof” onesie…which, it was. But paired with the Gold Bug and the headband/belt around her waist, it was just too much.

I wanted to be pissed about the fact that one of her headbands was stretched out, but whatever the cost of that belly-laugh I had, all by myself with Elle, on the floor of her bedroom…the cost of that headband-as-belt was totally worth it.

I hope I’ve related this story well enough that you laughed out loud…because it was too funny not to share.

…and to all a good night.