I had a conversation the other day with my friend Molly about our respective returns to work after our 12-week maternity leaves. I mentioned how I used to feel like I had my life together…that is, until I went back to work.
Never was this made more clear than Tuesday morning this week.
Monday was my first overnight away from Elle. I hated it, but it was fine, she was fine, Jon was fine. It all worked out. I woke up early Monday, drove to my account, spent the day and evening there and then headed to the hotel (with a quick stop at my favorite HomeGoods to pick up some guilt-toys for Elle).
I laid in that hotel bed and had a hard time falling asleep, but finally did (by putting Antiques Roadshow on my iPad and drifting off).
I woke up in the morning and got myself together. I looked in the mirror and realized I only had my right earring in.
I began frantically searching the hotel bed, ripped all the sheets off. I ran my hands over the floor. Nothing.
I took the earring in my right ear out and put it in my bag.
Those are the earrings Jon got for me for Christmas a few years ago, that I wear almost every day. I dwell on it as one of those things that gets added into your day. Resigned to the fact that those earrings are no longer a pair.
I begin the drive home in the afternoon, from Indianapolis.
I wish the miles were shorter. Literally, I found myself wishing that.
I was SO excited to see my girl – I haven’t felt that much excitement in…I couldn’t even think of a time I felt that much excitement, honestly. Well, that’s not true. I know I have – but I just can’t remember when.
Anyway – I digress.
I get home and my girl is battling her cold (boo hiss) and I’m SO SO SO glad to see her. I don’t put her down for hours — she’s sick, and I’m feeling guilty for having been gone, and I just missed her and she’s so little and warm and cuddly.
I walk into our bedroom and set something on my dresser and notice, ah, what?
My other earring.
Yup, I had made it through an entire day AT WORK with just one earring, pirate style. I managed to NOT look at myself in a mirror (this is becoming a problem of mine) somehow from the time I left early Monday morning until Tuesday morning. And NO ONE told me I had lost an earring, either.
Anyway, I had lost my mind. I HAVE lost my mind.
It was all fine and dandy until I had to go back to work.
And now, I can’t seem to get it together it feels. Spinning, spinning, spinning out of control. I KNOW I’ll find a balance and a way to manage it all – but I haven’t yet.
Before I ended this, I actually checked both ears to make sure I put two earrings in today.
Ok, maybe I’m already making progress…or not – I did have to check.