People Say the Darndest Things

Just a few things I wanted to capture before I forgot that have happened over the last few days.

I was at an account and one of the employees, who does not have a fine grasp of the English language (primary language is Spanish and her English is VERY broken). She sort of gets the point across that she didn’t know I was pregnant, wondered how long til I had the baby (seven weeks!) and…wait for it…if I was having ONE or TWO babies. Really, lady? Really? Two babies. You’re the first person (outside of that Hobby Lobby bitch) who made me feel like I was bigger than I ought to be. On the whole, I’ve felt pretty good about my changed body this far into the pregnancy.

At the Summerset Salon & Day Spa yesterday at the Skin Renewal Clinic for a microdermabrasion appointment. The clerk at the desk says “Wow, you’ve really popped since you were here last” which, I don’t think she was there when I had my last appointment over two+ months ago. And, even if she was, that was MONTHS ago. Anyway, she proceeds to say “Yeah, I must have just figured that you were pudgy, not pregnant.”

Classic, lady. Real nice.

I then make my way to the exit of the building and am stopped by a sweet old woman, who puts her hands on my stomach, says “You don’t mind, do you?” and tells me how lucky I am. (This was a cool interaction, I have to admit). And she just said she could feel the baby, that she thought I was so lucky to be having a baby…it was actually pretty cool and she was really really sweet and didn’t make me feel bad about my body at all. She just made me feel…well…lucky, I guess. Which I am. We are. There are a lot of people out there who want a baby and can’t have a biological one of their own…but there are many paths to being a parent, I feel.

And then today, I went up to Joe’s Garage to watch the Michigan game with Jon and his brother, Rick. And they ordered a pitcher of Oberon…and the girl brought ALL of us iced glasses. Ummm, really? You didn’t notice my 8 1/2 month pregnant belly when I ordered the water, straight up, with a lemon AND lime? (Yes, that’s how I’ve taken to ordering my drinks these days. Awesome).

Also, I read somewhere that some people bring champagne with them to the hospital so they can celebrate after the baby is born. As ‘much’ as I think that could be…I kind of want that memory. I think that I’ll make sure I have a bottle of champagne in my bag, or that Jon has one, just in case I want that to be part of the festivities after she’s born and all is well and we start receiving visitors. You know, after I’ve splashed some water on my face, put some lipstick on my face and run a brush through my hair. Or something that makes me not look like death warmed over. I digress. I guess, mainly, I just really want a damn drink.

Labor 101

They want you to take a class on how to come to terms with having a baby. Or so it seems.

I haven’t actually had the doctor – Neubeck – tell me to sign up for classes. I think they gave us paperwork at visit numero uno and hoped that we would just take it upon ourselves to pursue the paperwork and book a class on how to have a baby. Well, I’ve shown them. I have NOT booked any class time nor have I felt badly about it.

Well, until today.

I got it into my head to do a little digging into childbirth classes. I googled “Hurley Childbirth Classes” and found a website that was pretty unhelpful and didn’t have much in the way of ‘how to get a hold of us if you have questions’. So, I called a random number and asked what to do about childbirth classes. I was connected to another line, where they haphazardly gave me another number to call. Except I had no pen or paper in hand at that point.

Call back, ask to be re-connected. Write down the number. Call the number. Leave a message that I’m looking for childbirth class information.

In the meantime, I found another number and the woman told me I could take a childbirth class every Thursday for two hours for three weeks straight beginning in early August. To which I responded that I work and travel and I can’t guarantee three back to back Thursdays. I indicated I would really need the one day intensive. The woman on the other end of the line recommended the Tuesday or Wednesday three-week class.

Again, not helpful.

The woman who I left the message with ultimately called back, leaving a message that said I could take a class for three weeks on Tuesdays, Wednesdays or Thursdays.

Super. Helpful.

Really.

I started looking at Genesys and McLaren and began emailing my friend, Molly, who is due a month before me.

We agree on the general stupidity of the class structure. So – we opt to look for a birth class DVD and find Labor 101 on amazon.com. And agree that we’ll watch it together and see if it’s worth sharing with our significant others.

After talking to Jon tonight, we agreed that the baby’s going to come one way or another. And that we’re paying a lot (A LOT) of money in insurance and what not to the hospital professionals and they should really be in charge of the process. I’m okay with that. I’m confident enough in my own ability to take charge of my body when need be. So, Labor 101 may be the only thing that I actually pay attention to in advance of the Minnie’s arrival.

And for now, I’m ok with that.

Ask me the day AFTER she’s born.