Expiration Dates

So, the yogurt I bought on Sunday will still be good by the time Minnie arrives. She could be here before the milk goes sour!

I’m getting antsy.

Three days left in this month, and then we’ll be living in the month in which she’ll be born, one way or the other.

I’ve been off the road, no travel, for a week and a half. Which is good, I needed the opportunity to catch up on work stuff. But, I’m going stir crazy in this house – all. day. long. So, I’ve been trying to get out of the house here and there, but it definitely takes focusing on it to make it happen.

So, the absolute LATEST she could get here is October 27. And she could get here as early as, well, today…realistically.

I’m looking forward to being unpregnant.

Not that I’m not enjoying the last few weeks of being pregnant, necessarily, but I’m ready to have my body back. I’m ready to meet Minnie. I’m ready, plain and simple.

I hope every day that she has ‘dropped’. I would gladly take a pregnant waddle at this point if it means we’re progressing toward having a baby.

I’m feeling more and more tired each day. My back pain continues to rock my world.

The house is clean. The linen closets and under the bathroom sinks are organized. I could still stand to organize my own closet. Maybe if I do that, she’ll hurry up and arrive. Worth a try.

Nolan, Bob and Molly’s baby, arrived on Saturday. I got to meet him yesterday and today we’re going to take sweet baby photos of him! I can’t wait. He’s so tiny and cute. I mean, he was big – 8 pounds, 12 ounces – when he was born. But still, that’s tiny.

I feel a little like the last pregnant girl standing and I’m not a fan, I have to admit. Now that Molly is un-pregnant, I would also like to be un-pregnant. We shall see.

Anyway, back to the daily grind and counting the hours until I hit the official 37 week mark tomorrow. Seriously, that’s what it’s come to. Counting the hours down to some arbitrary time mark.

Ahhh!!!!!

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The Weekly Visits

Well, had another weekly visit this morning, first thing.

Saw Dr. Neubeck – which is always a treat. I find him funny and engaging. I’m glad he’s been my primary doctor throughout this, it’s definitely made the pregnancy something that is not a worry on my mind in any way.

Next week, on Monday, I’ll see Dr. Ahmad. Who I like as well. I like all of the doctors in the practice – all for different reasons.

Anyway, my blood pressure was up again. I mentioned again that I see these black ‘floaters’ like bugs/flies from time to time, so Dr. Neubeck did a little checking and said that there was no constriction in my blood vessels in my eyes or anything, so he wasn’t TOO concerned about it. I had gained another couple of pounds (WTF!?) so I think that the quick weight gain here at the end is contributing more to the hike in blood pressure than anything else. Need to make a concerted effort to lead a less sedentary lifestyle.

Jon is home today. It’s his one day off from work each week. I made a point to work yesterday so that I was ahead of the game today so I could spend some time with him.

Oh, back to the appointment…(hello A.D.D.)…

So, they did the beta strep test, which will take two days to determine if I have beta strep. It’s no big deal either way, it’s just an antibiotic they’ll give to me prior to delivery so that it doesn’t get passed on to the baby. So, we’ll know next week if that was positive or negative. He also did a pelvic exam and quite literally pushed our Minnie up into my rib cage. I said “Um, you’re pushing her up — I’m going to push her back down if you keep doing that!”. He explained that it’s because she’s not engaged yet, so she hasn’t fully committed to her head in my pelvic region (while I don’t blame her, she could hurry up and decide to do that ANY time now). He called it something that started with a b…it sounded like bobbling, but it wasn’t that. And I’m too lazy to Google it. So, she’s bobbling around in there. He had me push on my stomach to feel her butt (‘she’s got a big ass’ he says…just like her mom, I respond) and then had me feel down in my pelvis where her head is. It’s definitely weird to know where her body parts are for sure. I mean, I knew where they were before, but to actually FEEL them and have a doctor make it ok to press on them (Jon doesn’t like it when I do this, but whatever).

I also commented to Dr. Neubeck that for all the things that he and his doctor friends know, they should really know a good way to get these babies to come out. His response? “Sex.”

Fine and well.

Only, did I mention that Jon is home ONE DAY A WEEK? For approximately an 18 hour stretch? Yeah, ok. Good advice. I’m going to opt for walking a lot now that I’m not on the road and I’m also going to blow up my exercise ball and sit on it all day long. Why not, can’t hurt (if all else fails it will engage my ab muscles and if it works, we’ll have a baby girl sooner rather than later!). I’m starting my campaign for her arrival now because I just am over this back pain and weighing as much as a cow.

Speaking of back pain, I am on a Tylenol regimen daily and I think it is contributing to my ability to sleep the last two nights. I’m going to keep taking it because it really seems to be providing some good back pain relief for me.

Beyond that, I’m just trying to not be too ‘nesty’ — I have the linen closets organized, under the bathroom sinks cleaned and organized. I’ve got bottles washed and dried and put up in the cupboard. I’ve got all the receiving blankets and fluffy blankets washed. Washed all the crib sheets and changing pad covers. Packed her hospital bag, my hospital bag, made a list of Jon’s hospital bag stuff and the last minute stuff that I can’t pack. We’re ready to go. Now, just need to convince this Minnie girl to get on the bandwagon.

As Neubeck said, “Women want to be in labor, want to be in labor, then they go into labor and really DO NOT want to be in labor,”.

Touche, Neubeck.

A Dozen Years

Disclaimer: This post is not so much about me and/or my baby brain, but about something that happened in my life and I existed through 12 years ago today.

 

“A dozen years.”

That’s what my Mom said when I told her, earlier today, that Buddy died 12 years ago today, September 24.

A dozen years.

The time has gone quickly and it’s hard to comprehend. It’s even harder to believe that all the life I’ve lived and the life he’s missed can be captured within those three little words.

A dozen years.

John Thomas Kaseman II was just 16 years old when he left. I was 19. And I loved him with all the heart I had at that moment, a college sophomore focusing on classes and getting drunk on the weekends. It was a mismatch from the start and was destined for ruin and years and years of fabulous friendship. But, he left.

He died.

He took his own life.

“Buddy Kaseman died…of a gunshot wound in the front yard of his home…” my Grandpa’s voice in my memory.

“Buddy died, Lindsay,” Ryan Biggs calling after his high school’s football game. I never did forgive Buddy for making Ryan grow up and make that phone call to me.

And while I think of Buddy less and less in the front of my mind, in the part of me that lives forward — there is also this part of me that is stranded in the past — in all the uber-dynamic parts of my past — and Buddy is one spot where I get stuck. In my memory, in those nights of drinking where I’d get sad about something…it was always about him. My Aunt Julie told me then, when he died, that this was not something I was going to get over. It was simply something I’d get around, like a big huge boulder in the middle of my life’s path.

And she was right.

And now, with just a few short weeks before I welcome a child of my own into this world, I can NOT imagine losing this baby, my child. Can’t fathom it. I marvel at Buddy’s parents, his sister. Living — existing — through his death remains an incredible feat.

Every year, I have made certain that I had a card at the Kaseman’s house to let them know that I have not forgotten. That Buddy remains a friend in my life.

This year, it slipped away and I didn’t make it in time. It’s not that I didn’t think about it all week, not that it wasn’t on the top of my list. I had sent to Mrs. Kaseman a book that a friend of mine wrote, “The Reason” by Sally Grablick, about suicide and the death of her own son. But that was a few months ago. I feel badly that I didn’t send a card to let them know that I remember, that I still am sad that I don’t have the great pleasure of knowing him as an adult.

I get frustrated, that he didn’t let us the opportunity to be grown-up friends. I’m sad that we didn’t get the chance to grow apart, like I have with the majority of the rest of my Clear Lake friends. I’m troubled with the could-have-been’s, should-have-been’s…but only in the back of my mind that lingers on things that happened a dozen years ago.In the here and now, I’m giving myself today to remember him when he creeps into my mind and to simply relax ahead of the craziness I’m so looking forward to when our Minnie makes her debut.

Now, I’m focusing on the things happening in the future — and how exciting and potent my future is, with Jon, with our Minnie.

But still, the part of me that remembers a dozen years ago, nights on the lake, drinking in random fields, enjoying the freedom that a teenage summer allows, the way his sweaty hands felt in mine, the way his white t-shirt and tattered jeans hung on his body that night in the thunderstorm outside my grandparents’ cottage — that part of me misses him. All ways.

As always, I miss him better than I ever loved him.

I remain sorry for that.

29 Days…and Counting

Went for a walk this morning and realized how close this whole being a Mom thing is becoming. As I’ve said all along, it’s pretty surreal.

While I certainly feel as ready as I can be in most ways, in my head I can’t quite wrap my head around the concept. Like, last night while watching “Parenthood” on NBC (my latest favorite show, which I totally recommend DVR’ing) I realized how cool this is, how overwhelming and intimidating and all of the other descriptive words this journey is going to be.

As I was walking this morning, the school bus went by and picked up some kids in the neighborhood down the road. It was entertaining to watch these small people yelling ‘bye’ to their younger brothers and sisters in the house, to see the parents with their coffee cups standing on the porch and waving good-bye. And I thought ‘wow, that’ll be me’. It’s overwhelming and exciting all at the same time.

Sometimes lately I’ve found myself looking at Jon and envisioning what this little girl will look like. What parts of him will she get? Will she really get his skinny legs, metabolism and inherent sense of right and wrong? Will she end up with my outgoing personality? My blue eyes or his? Will she be tall? Will she have his allergies or my strong constitution? And, what will her personality be like – reserved and stubborn like her Dad or outgoing and in need of constant control like me? I’m really excited to see what kind of a girl she’s going to be, because I think there’s all kinds of good things to choose from between Jon and I and the rest of our families…and I’m just so hoping that she takes all of it and makes it even better.

Spent yesterday at the Clio Leadership Academy again. I am enjoying my attendance at these events and I feel like I’m finally traveling the path of personal fulfillment that I’ve been talking a good game about for years — being involved in my local community. I’ve got a long way to go to get to where I want to be, but this is the first step and it feels like something so worth doing to fulfill my own aspirations. And it feels good to have that, something personal and important to me when I know that very soon that will change and it will become a challenge to make my own aspirations important, too. So – I’m glad that the timing is what it is and I’m really looking forward to seeing what comes next in our world.

Need to get to work — but just a quick update!

 

L

Baby Shower Hangover!

Well, the final installment of baby shower season happened this past Saturday.

It was a beautiful shower and I truly have to say that I felt like it was a great mix of people I TRULY cherish in our lives. I didn’t feel like there was ONE person there who I had to, you know, talk about the weather with. Everyone was a close friend. I stepped back and reflected for, like, a split second on the shower day and was fulfilled…I love having our house filled with people we love and it was overflowing with love on Saturday. Love and baby presents. Minnie Mason is one lucky girl – and so am I – and so is Jon (well, he’s a lucky boy, but you get what I mean).

We had just over 30 people here – friends and family – and a few folks sent gifts that weren’t able to be here. The majority of photos are on my Aunt Jenny’s camera and the camera my Mom was using, but at least I can give you a teaser here.

My aunts – Jenny, Julie, Jody and Jill – were responsible for the shower. My Aunt Jody, as always, came through on the food. Delicious ribs and chicken, this Asian noodle salad that was the rave of the party. My favorite were the yogurt parfaits and then of course the watermelon carved into a baby carriage. Too freaking cute.

We had mimosas, lemon lime water and soda selection…and the delicious cupcakes and cut out sugar cookies made by my Aunt Julie in the shape of hands and feet, an ode to my Grandma Thick.

My Aunt Jenny and Mom helped the night before and morning of with finishing cleaning-up touches to the house. And Aunt Jill got all the dishes cleaned up after the party wound down.

I have to say that I was OVERWHELMED by the generosity. Tons of outfits and toys and necessities and nice-to-haves. I mean, really.


I also will whole-heartedly endorse hosting the shower in your own home if possible. While it was a lot of work to get my house cleaned up and in order, it was really neat that everyone got to see the nursery set up and ready to go and it was nice that after getting all those gifts, that we didn’t have to lug them into our car, and unpack them into our house, and then put them away here. I had everything pretty much put in a place by Saturday night.

My body certainly ached yesterday and at my doctor’s appointment today, Dr. Perry (first time seeing him) he said I really need to take it easy and rest a bit. He said that my blood pressure is up a little bit and I just need to rest. So, rest it will be for this girl. Am slowly and steadily putting together the hand off package for work so others can cover while I’m out and feel good about that.

Dr. Perry also said he feels very comfortable with the Oct. 20 due date and that Oct. 27 seemed late to him. Woohoo. Love it.

Had gained three pounds at the appointment today – that’s a grand total of 22ish or so…somewhere in there. Not awful. But, I also have not been very good about trying to watch what I eat. Have too much else on my mind. I will regret it if I let myself get crazy now, so I guess I should get back on the bandwagon.

Did go and make a few exchanges yesterday at Target and Babies R Us. And made a few purchases off the amazon.com registry for the remainder of things. But, on the whole, we got nearly every single thing on the registry. It is insane. Such a lucky girl.

I mean, Minnie got a jewelry box.

And earrings, too (both courtesy of Aunt Linda).

Jon’s Mom, Karen, got her a ring that has each of our names engraved on either side and then all three of our birthstones in it. Thought that was a good, unique idea.

And Annette and Skyler got her a little silver bracelet. I mean, seriously, this little girl is well on her way to a full jewelry box already!

We got the stroller…THE stroller, I should say. My Mom and Dad got it. It’s the Baby Jogger City Elite and I have struggled with it’s price tag, but knew it was the only one I wanted. And my mom, in addition to the leg warmers and the other wonderful, thoughtful gifts, got us the stroller, too.

As soon as I get photos, I’ll have to update who got what. But, it was so lovely to see Karen and her daughters, Angie and Gina (Gina’s preggers too and due in February…and having a GIRL!). My best girlfriend Andrea and her mom Shirley (they dragged Drew along, the only boy allowed!). Sally and her daughter Katie. Gail, my mom’s friend Clapper and her daughter-in-law (also preggers, due in February!!) Hol-Leigh, Kathleen (my dearest friend from Alma College days) and her eight month old daughter Anna, Cheryl (our next door neighbor). Debi, my friend Jay’s mom. Annette and Skyler. My Grandma Carpenter (soon to be Great Grandma Carpenter!!), Aunt Julie and Lucy. Aunt Jill (who hand-painted a Time Out chair that Jon and I are threatening each other with :). My Mom, Trevor’s girlfriend Ashley (she’s a good listener, by the way ;). Jon’s Mom. My Aunt Lori and Matt’s girlfriend, Megan. My Aunt Jody (freshly back from D.C.). Aunt Linda. Aunt Jenny. My cousin Sandy, who brought bumper pads she made for the crib to match and lots of stuffed animals with bows made to match. And she made lots of custom-made embroidered burp pads. And Molly, just days from her due date, and her mom Deb too. It was such a full house and great day. We had gifts sent from my Aunt Maria in Utah, Grandma Carrell in Missouri, cousin Amy in Florida.

Anyway, it was a jam-packed day that I finally feel as though I’ve recovered from…Now on to the thank you notes!

L

 

Baby for Butler U!

Go Bulldogs!

That’s what Minnie’s newest onesie has in store for her!

I’m at Butler today working and the director here, Stacey, and the management team got me a fun little baby gift! Totally, totally unexpected and so thoughtful!! They got her a lovey/blankie and a pink Butler onesie.

Isn’t it too cute?!

35 Weeks: Status Update

I am on my final work trip in Indianapolis ahead of labor, delivery and welcoming our Minnie into the world. Craziness. Have lots to accomplish, but wanted to make sure I didn’t miss this week’s update. I also want to enter into the record that this COULD be 36 weeks status update…but I’m again trusting the doctors who allegedly know more about this than I do.

Due Date: October 20, 2011.

Baby Developments:First of all, I just Google’d “35 weeks” and the top of hte page says “=245 days”. Crazy, right? 120 more days and that’ll be a year. Weird in the whole scheme of things.

Baby doesn’t have much room to maneuver now that she’s over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it’s so snug in the womb, she isn’t likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times she kicks remains about the same. Most of her basic physical development is now complete — she’ll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

 Weight Gain: As we all know, I don’t weigh myself in between doctor visits. Have a doctor visit coming up on Monday, Sept. 19. Would guess I have added on a few pounds just by the way it’s hard to move from one side to the other in bed at night. Definitely getting awkward-feeling in my own body. Not fun.

Cravings: Nothing much…I still enjoy Twizzlers, though I polished off the one bag and haven’t had another and I had the one root beer float, and that was it. Sweet treats in general are my craving, but I think that’s more just something where I feel like ‘why not’ as the end draws nearer.

Aversions: Still just picky when it comes to what I want to eat.

Symptoms: Back pain – lots of it; sleeplessness/restlessness. Nesting – my house is nearly as clean as it’s ever been in the nearly six months we’ve lived there. Her room is complete. I need to finish labeling the boxes I got for her closet, and then I’m done!

I am loving: knowing that the final shower is this weekend. I’m looking forward to having nothing else planned on Saturday than to enjoy the company of people I love and can’t wait to see. I am also loving knowing that I will know, after this weekend, what I have and what I am still in need of. I am so ready to put the finishing touches on my list of things I will feel better once I own. And then, I’m loving that the baby’s arrival is on the horizon. Just a month or so to go now!

Sleep: I feel like I get good sleep, but the good sleep is interrupted by my peeing incessantly and by waking up to re-position myself. I woke up yesterday morning at 3 a.m., couldn’t get back to sleep, so watched something on the iPad PBS app for an hour before I feel back asleep finally.

I miss: feeling moderately good about my body; not appearing pregnant.

I am looking forward to: the shower and the friends and family that will descend on my house on Saturday!

I am spazzing about: figuring out work stuff in the final weeks of this pregnancy.

Best moment of the week: Spending the day with my brother at the house, him working on homework and helping me do a few things here and there; and me working. It was just nice to be ‘at work’ with someone and I was glad it was my brother; dinner at my mom and dad’s on Tuesday night.

Milestones: Nothing much to report.

Movement: We are busy girls on the 7’s and the 10’s and lots of time in between. There have been some relatively large movements here and there, so I’m anxious to see if she’s still head-down as Dr. Neubeck reported two weeks ago.

It’s a….: GIRL!

Exercise: Went for a walk with Molly the other night; running around the house cleaning, etc.

Diet: Moderate.

Boobs & Belly Button: Boobs are now a 38D, which I feel is just fine for now. Belly button is still an innie, but I can see the bottom of my belly button, a new development.

Goals for the upcoming week: Clean up AFTER the shower, spend some quality time with Jon on Friday and Sunday, enjoy the gifts that we get on Saturday, get them organized, get thank you notes written and into the mailbox and get work stuff in order for hand off any day.