August 24

I’m not even going to try to catch up. 

My New Year’s Resolution to “be a better blogger” is failing miserably. I should have resolved to lose weight – I’m actually doing that. 

After a random summer of Jon working out of town, having John Emerson “Jay” arrive in June, enjoying maternity leave over a summer that saw my parents buy a cabin at Clear Lake, I’ve got just two more weeks of maternity leave (ahh, the unpaid part finally begins). 

Today we just hung out around the house after a full day yesterday of running the Crim 5K and Elle running the Teddy Bear Trot. She ran THE WHOLE WAY! She was awesome. I did NOT run the entire 5K, but ran my fastest average pace since I started running just 3 weeks ago, so I feel pretty darn good about that. 

Elle is a wonderful big sister to “Jay Baaabbaaayyy” (what we call him) and hasn’t had too much in the way of adjustment issues. Some here and there, but nothing to write about per se. 

Jay is SUCH a good baby. I don’t know how we got two great babies in a row. I think Jay is even easier than Elle was, which is really saying something. So. Stinking. Cute. 

 

With two weeks to go and a 34th birthday to celebrate in between, I’m just focusing on getting our lives organized before I hit the ground running going back to work. And I’m also excited to be signing up for a great bootcamp three nights a week. I feel like at the very least I’m making my own health a priority. While I was running the 5K yesterday, I just liked the fact that it felt good that my daughter was WATCHING me, ACTIVELY participating in something. It made pushing to go just a bit faster, just a bit easier. 

Here is my brother Trevor, his girlfriend Ashley, me and Elle at the Crim yesterday! 

When we stopped to Jon’s parents yesterday, the first of what will be many identity swaps happened. You see, John Emerson – the baby Jay – was born this year. And my husband Jonathan – Jon/Jonny/Jonathan – is a J-O-N. And his Dad is JOHN Lee. So, yes, certainly room for confusion. It’s why our John E. has been Jay since day one. But somehow – and this has happened to my Jon for years – but Jay Baby got his first AARP solicitation letter. Seriously AARP, get it together. How do you even come up with this stuff?! 

Just look at these kiddos – and Jay sitting up in his Bumbo at just 9 weeks old. What a big guy! 

 

Weekly Comparison: Baby 1 (Elle) and Baby 2

Here’s as good of a side-by-side as I am going to get today while I have had the time to work on this.

Baby 1: 32 Weeks, 2 days

Week 32

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baby 1: 34 Weeks, 3 days

Week 35

Baby 1: 36 Weeks

Week by Week Pregnancy: In Case You Needed Proof

I have taken photos every week throughout this pregnancy – I didn’t even do that for Elle.

In case you needed proof, here you go…All 35+ weeks in all their glory.

 

 

Week 7

 

Week 8

Week 9

 

Week 10

 

Week 11

 

Week 12

 

Week 13

 

Week 14

 

Week 15

 

Week 16

 

Week 17

 

Week 18

 

Week 19

 

Week 20

 

Week 21

 

Week 22

 

Week 23

 

Week 24

 

Week 25

 

Week 26

 

Week 27

 

Week 29

 

Week 30

 

Week 31

 

Week 32

 

Week 33

 

Week 35

I Bought Bras

So, I haven’t had the energy to write much lately – with Jon out of town six out of seven days of the week (and when he’s home, it’s just a weird day for whatever reason) – I’m solo’ing this whole thing and it’s really different to do it on your own. Not like I don’t have a ton of help between my parents and Jon’s parents – but it’s still different (though it’s been five weeks now, so it’s starting to become the norm).

Anyway — I’ve been working in the yard and the pond a lot in advance of golf season beginning in earnest in May. I’ve made great progress, so I’m feeling pretty good about it all, actually.

And, I’ve been trying really, really hard to get my weight under control and my body back within comfortable (to me) boundaries. Which means I’ve been eating less, exerting myself more (some real exercise, some just working in the yard but never both ;). I have found myself often wearing yoga pants or workout pants and sweatshirts — which is my comfort mode for sure — but I also have been trying to get back to wearing – you know – real clothes, too.

So, this brings me to the title of this particular post – I bought bras.

I bought NICE bras that fit right. Crazy, right? It only took me six months to get back to a bra that fits me and does something for my otherwise flimsy post- preggo boobies.

I went to Soma in the outlets near me and walked in and when a sales clerk looked at me I just said “I need help.” and she measured me, and got all the bras and tanks to try on with them, and I just tried on bras until we found the size that fits me right…which, for the record, here’s my bra history…

I was a 36C. As cataloged here, I bought – at one point during pregnancy – a 40DD. Yes, I did. It may have been overkill, but probably not. And now, I measure at a 38D. I landed right in the middle.

But, over the last six months, bra shopping and the required expenditure just didn’t make the top of the list. I would go to Target, look at a bra, go ‘ah, looks about right’ and come home, try it on, feel a bit uncomfortable or feel like my boobs were still a bit saggier than I’d like, but figure it was more difficult to take the bra back than to just deal with it.

Until last week.

I reached my breaking point, or the point at which I’m ready to claim back my body and execute control over it. Perhaps this is why my fitness/wellness crusade is going so well for the moment. Because I have taken back control and ownership of myself in meaningful ways – you know, like having a bra that fits.

Anyway, if anyone happens upon this post and you’re pregnant or you’ve just delivered…don’t wait six months to get back into a properly-fitting bra — it feels so, so good and I guess by controling my chest, I have been able to focus on the rest of my life a little more clearly!!

I Was Supposed to be Skinny By Now

Let me start with a disclaimer…I feel better about my body right now than I did, say, three months ago.

I don’t feel great about the shape that I exist within, but I don’t abhor it either. I don’t particularly like looking at myself in the mirror before the shower, but I can swallow that bitter pill most of the time.

I’m working on it, I really am. Or, at least I’m talking about working on it. And thinking about trying. And some days, really trying. I went for a walk with Elle tonight when we got home from school. It was nice to be in the sun, to be with her, to be getting a little exercise. I didn’t go far, I didn’t go long, but I did go. And that’s half the battle. And I spent yesterday making my muscles sore, too. So I feel like I’m getting there…slowly – too slowly sometimes – and steadily.And the day before that, two hours digging and working in the pond. I work up a sweat, so that’s something.

But, here’s what happened today…I signed us up for Parent/Tot swim classes. And therefore, I was supposed to be skinn(ier) by now.

I’ve been super looking forward to it, truly. In my head, I don’t think I connected until TODAY that I, too, would have to be in a bathing suit. That requires – ahem – maintenance of areas. It also requires a bathing suit in which I won’t feel absolutely awful (that’s an oxymoron, for sure). It requires being comfortable and confident in my own skin. I’m going to watch a ton of Dove commercials before I go to the Y next Monday afternoon. Maybe that’ll help.

I’ve been preparing Elle for swimming class diligently. I’ve been splashing water on her face, letting the spray from the spout hit her and force her to get water in her eyes. I pour water over her head to rinse her hair. Tonight, I even filled the tub up a bit more than normal and held her and let her float, so she wouldn’t be totally scared of not touching bottom in the pool. I mean, I’m REALLY TRYING to make sure she LOVES the water and swimming.

However, I was not so diligent in my own preparations.

Gut punch (and reverberations because that gut-area is NOT taut…).

So, yeah, I was supposed to be skinny by now.

But I’m not.

So – what’s that Dove line? Love the skin you’re in? Yup, that’s what I’m going to do. Create a love-fest around myself to love the skin I’m in.

WISH. ME. LUCK.

3 Days, 15 Hours: The Countdown is On

Alright friends, the countdown is on!

Today’s appointment was both eventful and uneventful in that I went differently than I expected. This culminated in Dr. Ahmad asking if I wanted to go the induction route…and…well…Friday, 5 a.m., we will be checking into the hospital to begin the process of birthing our Minnie.

Yes, that’s right.

Friday.

At 5 a.m.

 

As the ultrasound revealed last week, we have a ‘healthy size’ baby (Dr. Ahmad’s words, not mine) and since it also revealed that TODAY is 39 weeks…well…

To be honest, I’m a little bit caught off guard. I thought that we would be discussing options today. And I suppose we did.

Option #1: Be induced this week.

Option #2: Wait for spontaneous labor.

I think that the word spontaneous makes it seem more exciting than it actually is.

Frankly, with Jon working on the other side of the state, three and a half hours away and with my normally cheery disposition suffering in the last week as I reach my ‘done’ point on the pregnancy spectrum, I’m just ready to get this show on the road, be un-pregnant AND meet our Minnie.

So, October 14 she should be here. Latest she’d arrive is October 15.

I’ve already talked to my boss, let her know my last day is Thursday so I’m busily wrapping up some tasks I was procrastinating for whatever reason.

Jon and I just installed the car seat base in my car (which he’s driving this week) and tomorrow I’m dropping his car off to be detailed and cleaned up and then will install the base in his car (which I’m driving for the week).

Jon will head back to work tonight about 6 p.m. and will come home Thursday night and we’ll head to the hospital in the middle of the morning on Friday to begin this process.

CRAZY.

SURREAL.

I’m going to be a MOM by the time Michigan-Michigan State kicks off this weekend.

~~~~~~~~~

I couldn’t sleep last night. That seems to happen when Jon’s home. Having company in bed, after most nights NOT having company in bed, is weird and I feel bad because it takes me EONS to get comfortable and fall asleep. And I move around and around…so I fell asleep on the couch and then headed to bed about 2 a.m.

But, well before that, I found myself feeling…well, scared, honestly…about the impending arrival. I don’t know another word to describe it, and I really want to capture my TRUE feelings here. It’s scary. This is a forever gig – and one I’ve been waiting my whole life for and I just am scared about the unknown.

I can’t put my finger on whether I’m scared of the laboring more than the actual – ‘we’re sending you home with a baby’ – part. But, intimidated by the idea. The thought of how it’s all going to come together, the lack of control over the situation on the whole. All well beyond my comfort zone and things I’d like to control a bit more.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dr. Ahmad did a pelvic exam today. I’m a half centimeter dilated…which I think is really just him being generous. I mean, what is a half centimeter anyway??

Anyway, he referenced my Bishop Score, which I hadn’t heard of before. Here’s a wikipedia link to more info. Based on what I’ve read just now, my Bishop Score of 5 is sort of a number that is right in the middle of being a good one for induction. Every site I checked out had a different threshold for making it an induction option. So, I’m trusting my doctor on this one. Feel like I haven’t been steered wrong yet. We’ll see.

I did just place a call to the office to ask the questions that have now popped into my head. I think I just want to know what to expect will happen when I arrive to the hospital on Friday. Again, from the reading I’ve done, it seems like doctors recommend induction when they feel as though your chances for vaginal delivery still exist, but going into spontaneous labor (as measured by your Bishop score, among other things) isn’t something that ranks really high on the list. So, we’ll see. I’m hoping to get some more insight from Dr. Ahmad or his nurse when they call back.

Baby’s heart rate is good…my weight gain, not so much. I had eaten breakfast before heading to the doctor, but that put me at 27 pounds gained total…which is SO ANNOYING. Hate being over that 25 pound threshold. But, whatever. We are nearing the end of the being-pregnant weight gain journey.

 

Well, we’ll meet our girl this week. That’s a for sure.

CRAZY!

 

The Weekly Visits

Well, had another weekly visit this morning, first thing.

Saw Dr. Neubeck – which is always a treat. I find him funny and engaging. I’m glad he’s been my primary doctor throughout this, it’s definitely made the pregnancy something that is not a worry on my mind in any way.

Next week, on Monday, I’ll see Dr. Ahmad. Who I like as well. I like all of the doctors in the practice – all for different reasons.

Anyway, my blood pressure was up again. I mentioned again that I see these black ‘floaters’ like bugs/flies from time to time, so Dr. Neubeck did a little checking and said that there was no constriction in my blood vessels in my eyes or anything, so he wasn’t TOO concerned about it. I had gained another couple of pounds (WTF!?) so I think that the quick weight gain here at the end is contributing more to the hike in blood pressure than anything else. Need to make a concerted effort to lead a less sedentary lifestyle.

Jon is home today. It’s his one day off from work each week. I made a point to work yesterday so that I was ahead of the game today so I could spend some time with him.

Oh, back to the appointment…(hello A.D.D.)…

So, they did the beta strep test, which will take two days to determine if I have beta strep. It’s no big deal either way, it’s just an antibiotic they’ll give to me prior to delivery so that it doesn’t get passed on to the baby. So, we’ll know next week if that was positive or negative. He also did a pelvic exam and quite literally pushed our Minnie up into my rib cage. I said “Um, you’re pushing her up — I’m going to push her back down if you keep doing that!”. He explained that it’s because she’s not engaged yet, so she hasn’t fully committed to her head in my pelvic region (while I don’t blame her, she could hurry up and decide to do that ANY time now). He called it something that started with a b…it sounded like bobbling, but it wasn’t that. And I’m too lazy to Google it. So, she’s bobbling around in there. He had me push on my stomach to feel her butt (‘she’s got a big ass’ he says…just like her mom, I respond) and then had me feel down in my pelvis where her head is. It’s definitely weird to know where her body parts are for sure. I mean, I knew where they were before, but to actually FEEL them and have a doctor make it ok to press on them (Jon doesn’t like it when I do this, but whatever).

I also commented to Dr. Neubeck that for all the things that he and his doctor friends know, they should really know a good way to get these babies to come out. His response? “Sex.”

Fine and well.

Only, did I mention that Jon is home ONE DAY A WEEK? For approximately an 18 hour stretch? Yeah, ok. Good advice. I’m going to opt for walking a lot now that I’m not on the road and I’m also going to blow up my exercise ball and sit on it all day long. Why not, can’t hurt (if all else fails it will engage my ab muscles and if it works, we’ll have a baby girl sooner rather than later!). I’m starting my campaign for her arrival now because I just am over this back pain and weighing as much as a cow.

Speaking of back pain, I am on a Tylenol regimen daily and I think it is contributing to my ability to sleep the last two nights. I’m going to keep taking it because it really seems to be providing some good back pain relief for me.

Beyond that, I’m just trying to not be too ‘nesty’ — I have the linen closets organized, under the bathroom sinks cleaned and organized. I’ve got bottles washed and dried and put up in the cupboard. I’ve got all the receiving blankets and fluffy blankets washed. Washed all the crib sheets and changing pad covers. Packed her hospital bag, my hospital bag, made a list of Jon’s hospital bag stuff and the last minute stuff that I can’t pack. We’re ready to go. Now, just need to convince this Minnie girl to get on the bandwagon.

As Neubeck said, “Women want to be in labor, want to be in labor, then they go into labor and really DO NOT want to be in labor,”.

Touche, Neubeck.

People Say the Darndest Things

Just a few things I wanted to capture before I forgot that have happened over the last few days.

I was at an account and one of the employees, who does not have a fine grasp of the English language (primary language is Spanish and her English is VERY broken). She sort of gets the point across that she didn’t know I was pregnant, wondered how long til I had the baby (seven weeks!) and…wait for it…if I was having ONE or TWO babies. Really, lady? Really? Two babies. You’re the first person (outside of that Hobby Lobby bitch) who made me feel like I was bigger than I ought to be. On the whole, I’ve felt pretty good about my changed body this far into the pregnancy.

At the Summerset Salon & Day Spa yesterday at the Skin Renewal Clinic for a microdermabrasion appointment. The clerk at the desk says “Wow, you’ve really popped since you were here last” which, I don’t think she was there when I had my last appointment over two+ months ago. And, even if she was, that was MONTHS ago. Anyway, she proceeds to say “Yeah, I must have just figured that you were pudgy, not pregnant.”

Classic, lady. Real nice.

I then make my way to the exit of the building and am stopped by a sweet old woman, who puts her hands on my stomach, says “You don’t mind, do you?” and tells me how lucky I am. (This was a cool interaction, I have to admit). And she just said she could feel the baby, that she thought I was so lucky to be having a baby…it was actually pretty cool and she was really really sweet and didn’t make me feel bad about my body at all. She just made me feel…well…lucky, I guess. Which I am. We are. There are a lot of people out there who want a baby and can’t have a biological one of their own…but there are many paths to being a parent, I feel.

And then today, I went up to Joe’s Garage to watch the Michigan game with Jon and his brother, Rick. And they ordered a pitcher of Oberon…and the girl brought ALL of us iced glasses. Ummm, really? You didn’t notice my 8 1/2 month pregnant belly when I ordered the water, straight up, with a lemon AND lime? (Yes, that’s how I’ve taken to ordering my drinks these days. Awesome).

Also, I read somewhere that some people bring champagne with them to the hospital so they can celebrate after the baby is born. As ‘much’ as I think that could be…I kind of want that memory. I think that I’ll make sure I have a bottle of champagne in my bag, or that Jon has one, just in case I want that to be part of the festivities after she’s born and all is well and we start receiving visitors. You know, after I’ve splashed some water on my face, put some lipstick on my face and run a brush through my hair. Or something that makes me not look like death warmed over. I digress. I guess, mainly, I just really want a damn drink.

“You Look Great”

I hear that a lot lately.

Which is nice, right?

But it’s like people EXPECT you to be a big, fat cow when you’re pregnant, I think. They’re surprised that I evidently don’t APPEAR ‘more’ pregnant (how, again, can there be levels of pregnant…you either ARE or you AREN’T.) Yesterday, a girl at one of my accounts asked me, point blank:

“How much weight have you gained?”

I wanted to respond:
“Wow, how’s that a valid question” or “Did you REALLY just ask me that in front of the entire crowd of people in this office?” but instead I announced: “Just over 15 pounds”.

In ANY other world, I would NEVER proudly announce my weight gain (especially 15 pounds). But yesterday, and other days, there I am, practically BRAGGING about my relatively small weight gain througout the first 33 weeks of this pregnancy.

Why am I doing that? How is that even nice to do for those girls who aren’t as fortunate as me and for whatever reason, gain more weight than I have. It’s not. But, this is is also my body that is out of my own control, so I guess…I can brag it up or not in all the ways I want. But as part of this female community, I should also be a bit more cognizant of those around me and the example I’m setting. How is that a fair standard, when we’re all different?

The girl at the Hobby Lobby on Saturday said “When are you due?” and when I told her said “Oh, I wish I was as big as you, I’m due Oct. 23”. And she was, in fact, not showing the way I was. But she also was wearing the Hobby Lobby-issue blue smock over her clothes, so it was hard to tell. Did you really just tell me you wish you were bigger…like me…? Really?

So, my thought today is WHY do people want to comment on the size of my waist? I mean, of course I KNOW why…but seriously?

I’ve also decided (but don’t hold me to this, who knows how I’ll feel post-partum) that I’m going to continue taking pictures each week to track the after-baby body. I mean, I feel like that’s the part that no one talks about or shows…how the miracle that is your uterus growing to 1,000-TIMES ITS SIZE retracts to its original state in a relatively short amount of time. Or how it takes awhile to NOT look pregnant…or…whatever. I don’t know what that little adventure holds, but I think I’m going to photographically catalog it to see how it goes…and to hopefully keep me on track with my post-baby ‘operation get my own body back’ thing.

Among other things, time really does seem to be speeding up. This weekend is really my last big hurrah to try to get the house cleaned up and in order. Going to be a bit crazy running around with some last minute things at work over the next several weeks. So, this weekend is a cleaning and whatnot extravaganza. I also called Hurley today to ask about a tour of the facility. I called the main number, which transferred me to labor and delivery. The nurse could NOT have been nicer, and she said to just call whenever I have time to come in, make sure they’re not too busy, and then just head in for a tour. Thought that was AWESOME. Doesn’t really get much easier.

Changed my doctor’s appointment to this Friday instead of next Friday. I’m to see Dr. Neubeck again, which will be good. This will push me into a probably 9/19 date for my next appointment. I’m going to see if I can get the doctor to send me for another ultrasound (why not?!)…and if I could, then I’m going to shoot for Monday, 9/12 because then Jon could go and I’d really like for him to see an ultrasound before she’s born. Think it might make it more real for him.

I also signed up for a Leadership Academy in our local community which is early in the morning’s. I saw it advertised in the School Bell and it sounded up my alley, and like something I would enjoy doing ahead of having the baby. So, for six weeks beginning the week of Sept. 12, I’ll attend this morning event once each week. Pretty excited about it and what it might mean for meeting people and being involved in my community, something I’ve always wanted.

Anyway, those are things I thought today…more soon!

L

Preggo Pics at a Glance

I found myself wondering ‘how different DO I look’ and so I was compelled to put all the photos I’ve taken over the last couple of months in one post. Here goes….

In hindsight, I feel like the Week 27 picture looks bigger than the 28.5 picture. Guess I got a good angle this morning in the mirror, what can I say?

I’m struck by the fact that I didn’t share any ‘bump’ photos between weeks 15 and 23 and 23 and 26. That 15 to 23 week gap was where a lot of changes happened. I’m sure I have pictures somewhere at home, just need to go searching.

Ok, well there’s a look back. Only 11 more weeks to go and hopefully 11 more pictures to post!!

28.5 Weeks (or so) 

Somewhere around 29 weeks!

27 Weeks

I really should do my hair and makeup before I take and post these shots. Seriously.

26 Weeks

No denying it now…I’m for SURE pregnant.

23 Weeks

23 Weeks. Ok, I’m pregnant it turns out.

15 Weeks 

Taken May 6, 2011, 15 weeks.

 

Eight Weeks

Jon & I at the Kappa Sigma Founders Day Dinner at the Sarvis Center in Flint. March 2011.